Prsident/Ceo

Attn: Prsident/Ceo,

Cos, yeah, that's how you spell those...

My Dear,

Hold on! Hold on a cotten picking minute, there. You think I'm a "Prsident/Ceo" and you feel that "My Dear" is an appropriate opening line. Really? What would you do if we were face-to-face? Tongue-kiss me? C'mon, man, I'm as metro-sexual as the next guy, but I'm not sure we know each other well enough - yet - for you to be opening your letters with the whole "My Dear" stuff.

Just sayin'...

Anyway.

Continue...

REQUEST FOR YOUR HELP.

As you read this, I don't want you to feel sorry for me,

Okay.

I won't.

I promise.

In fact, I'll hold your email up as a source of ridicule and scorn in my blog. Is that better?

because, I believe everyone will die someday.

That's a pretty good belief. You could be on to something there...

My name is MR.JASSIM BEN a merchant in Iraq.I has been diagnosed with Esophageal cancer. It has defiled all forms of medical treatment,

Defiled them, huh?

That's pretty rare, alright. Continue.

and right now I have only about a few months to live,

And you took the time to write to me?

Wow. Can't say I'd reciprocate if the situation was reversed. I think I'd be two towns over, trying to get this sexy brunette I know to let me bang her senseless, but, hey, who knows? Maybe I'd be off writing to random strangers...

according to medical experts. I have not particularly lived my life so well, as I never really cared for anyone (not even myself)

Meaning what exactly? You ate too much fried food and not enough fresh fruit? Explain yourself.

but my business. Though I am very rich, I was never generous, I was always hostile to people and only focused on my business as that was the only thing I cared for.

You sound like the life and soul of the party, mate. Why are you writing to me, exactly? Do you want me to write back and say you're a bit of prick? Because you sound it, to be honest.

But now I regret all this, as I now know that there is more to life than just wanting to have or make all the money in the world. I believe when God gives me a second chance to come to this world I would live my life a different way from how I have lived it.Now that God has called me, I have willed and given most of my property and assets to my immediate and extended family members as well as a few close friends. I want God to be merciful to me and accept my soul so, I have decided to give alms to charity organizations, as I want this to be one of the last good deeds I do on earth. So far, I have distributed money to some charity organizations in the U.A.E, Algeria and Malaysia.

Really? What about Leitrim County Council?

Now that my health has deteriorated so badly, I cannot do this myself anymore. I once asked members of my family to close one of my accounts and distribute the money, which I have there to charity organization in Bulgaria and Pakistan; they refused and kept the money to themselves. Hence, I do not trust them anymore,

Family, huh? What can you do? I feel your pain. My idiot brother bought an ass last year. Yeah, he got flamin' drunk one night and paid a fortune for an old donkey. He says he will make a profit eventually, but I think it's pure daftness, I do.

Your family stole billions from you, my brother bought an ass. It's the exact same thing, mate, we are so on the same level here, I feel a real strong connection.

as they seem not to be contended with what I have left for them. The last of my money which no one knows of is the huge cash deposit of TWENTY ONE MILLION DOLLARS

In capitals, I see. Nice touch. In case I would miss it, I suppose.

$21,000,000,00 that I have with a finance/Security Company abroad. I will want you to help me collect this deposit and dispatched it to charity organizations. I have set aside 10% for you and for your time. You can also contact me on this email:address:privatejassim@sify.com

Private Jassim? Are you in the army?

God be with you.
MR.JASSIM BEN.

And with you, too, My Dear.